Friendship that grows into commitment

It’s been exactly five years since we launched our very first public meeting in Kairos.  It took a year previous to this for our team to work together putting the strategy in place of how we thought Kairos would look.  The beginning days were days of dreaming, and the realisation that history was being written made life very exciting!  We met daily in our Kairos office to pray for the miracles we needed to plough ahead with what seemed like something quite outlandish and impossible.  To try to change the culture of a country is in itself a huge dream, but with leaders and team members like we had, it seemed and still seems very possible. 

We’ve weathered many storms since then.  We’ve stayed together as a team – all five of us from the original days – meeting every week discussing the past, the present and the future!  It’s been quite a journey, and Sava and I are very aware of how privileged we are to have such a wonderful team of young folk working alongside us.  We barely knew each other at first - God put the most unlikely people together - yet we can see the hand of God changing each one of us as we walk alongside each other with a common dream.

The dream is becoming a reality and as days go by and years pass quickly, we can see God bringing the dream to pass.  Over the years we’ve cried together, we’ve laughed together and God in His mercy has grown us together.  Sometimes now we don’t even need words as we can read each others’ hearts.  Sometimes words are said that we wish we could withdraw but as time passes, those mistakes become more and more infrequent.  You see, our friendship has grown into commitment. We no longer strive to be friends.  We ARE friends.  There is no jealousy there, no malice, no back biting or striving for position.  We all know our place in the ‘pattern of Kairos’ and we’re working quietly away to bring the dream to pass. 

Is commitment easy? Not if it’s a life commitment.  Our team has been together almost every Sunday morning and night in almost six years!  Unless absent because we are not in the country, the team is there fully present, willing and able to take on any assignment given to further the Kingdom of God.  Church is planned in our meetings, preachers and messages are planned in our meetings, every detail of the Kairos plan is discussed together and agreed upon or it just doesn’t go ahead.  Think that’s easy with strong characters and weak characters together?  Only the grace of God can do this incredible work in all our hearts, and make us submissive to each other.  It’s been an exciting journey.  One we wouldn’t have missed for the world!

There will be days ahead when we won’t be so close.  When there are Kairos gatherings in all four corners of the city of Timisoara, we may not have time to be together so often.  So, we cherish the moments.  We pray together and believe the best is yet to be.  When friendship grows into commitment to God, commitment to a cause, commitment to each other, it will last the tests of time.  It will withstand the adversities that life will throw at it and it will grow until it encompasses everyone around who becomes committed to the dream.  One thing I’ve learned: if you don’t have a dream of your own, then find someone who has a large dream, is fully committed to it, and join them.  Walking with people as they fulfil a dream is exciting and invigorating, challenging and satisfying.  There’s nothing quite like it!

Don’t settle for the normal.  Don’t be satisfied with the status quo. Find a dream that scares you half to death and follow it!  In any realm, in any sphere, go for it!  Write it down and work towards it – find friends who share your dream – or who trust you enough to follow you as you dream – then I pray that your ‘friendships will grow into commitment’…into something greater than anything we can dream!  

 Wendy Tomin

Co-Pastor, Kairos Church Timisoara

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The importance of Community

If ever we begin to think we can make life on our own, we are sadly mistaken.  Should we ever have the notion that we don’t need anyone in our lives, we are on a slippery slope to isolation and loneliness.

I’ve never functioned very well on my own.   All of us are different, but however self-sufficient we feel we are, I believe there are times in our lives, many times, that we need people around us. Loneliness is a terrible affliction.

The most important thing we can cultivate is a circle of people around us to whom we can relate.  There are so many levels of friendships these days and the old term ‘forever friends’ seems to be something of a dying breed.  If we have people around us from childhood then we are blessed. But with the global movement of this present day, people are moving further and further away from their birth places, uprooting children and leaving family and friends behind.

One of the most wonderful things that I’ve found since I moved to Romania is the warmth of the people I have met.  I have been invited for coffee and to their homes for food and often I realise they don’t have very much to offer, but what they have – they’re willing to share with me!

In Kairos we try to apply an ‘open door’ policy – so that everyone knows that they are welcome at any time.  The most important feeling in the world is to feel loved.  The very worst feeling in the world is to feel rejected.  Our heart’s desire in Kairos is to create an atmosphere where everyone feels welcome – whatever their race – religion – or life choices.  We believe it is in the heart of Jesus to be accepting.  We realise it isn’t always easy to accept people who do not act or think the way we do. But Jesus did it all the time.  He went to the homes of those who seemingly worked against Him.  He ate with sinners and saints. He didn’t even preach to them. He drank water from the hand of a prostitute.   He visited and made His presence felt.

I could not survive if I were not part of a strong community. I need a group of people who continue to have my best interests at heart.  A group of people who do not wait until tears stream down my face, but who know how to read my heart.  A telephone call at the right moment, a card or message just to say they love me.  A flower wrapped in a paper – all equally important to a solitary heart.

I want to be predictable.  I want people to know exactly what I’ll do in any given circumstance.  I need them to know that if I say I’ll be there, I’ll keep my word, and I’ll be there for them.  I need to be a person of character so others can learn from me and become people who are dependable and trustworthy.  I can only do this by being a good example and building a community around me of people who feel the same.  Everyone longs to be part of a group where there is no need of ‘airs and graces’ where everyone can be themselves.  This does not happen overnight but comes through trust that is built up over time.  When we feel we can let down our barriers of fear and anxiety and allow ourselves to become vulnerable, then we find that we are surrounded by people who love us and expect nothing in return.

Community is what Jesus built with His disciples.  He worked with the same men day and night. He knew when they were sad and He knew when they needed encouragement or rebuke. He hasn’t changed and today He’s still looking for people who are willing to take a risk, those who are willing to come under authority and be there for others.

It starts with the first step.  Someone trusting someone.  Someone allowing themselves to be vulnerable.  Someone opening their heart to make room for someone else, enlarging the circle of love - until its arms encompass all who come near.  The only place this happens is home, yet if you’re far away from your biological home what can be done?  You start at the bottom and work up!

Our Kairos Community is not perfect - it is flawed because we are there.  But one thing is for sure, it is a welcoming place for those who are hurting.  It is a safe place for those in crisis and it’s a healing place for those who have been scarred.  There’s room in our community for you – unless you’re one of the tiny percentage who doesn’t need anyone.  We will still be here for you though – when the time eventually comes or the circumstances come crashing down and you need that someone who will be there without judging.  We extend our hand of friendship to you – we wait for you with open arms.

Wendy Tomin

Co-Pastor, Kairos Christian Centre

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