Friendship that grows into commitment

It’s been exactly five years since we launched our very first public meeting in Kairos.  It took a year previous to this for our team to work together putting the strategy in place of how we thought Kairos would look.  The beginning days were days of dreaming, and the realisation that history was being written made life very exciting!  We met daily in our Kairos office to pray for the miracles we needed to plough ahead with what seemed like something quite outlandish and impossible.  To try to change the culture of a country is in itself a huge dream, but with leaders and team members like we had, it seemed and still seems very possible. 

We’ve weathered many storms since then.  We’ve stayed together as a team – all five of us from the original days – meeting every week discussing the past, the present and the future!  It’s been quite a journey, and Sava and I are very aware of how privileged we are to have such a wonderful team of young folk working alongside us.  We barely knew each other at first - God put the most unlikely people together - yet we can see the hand of God changing each one of us as we walk alongside each other with a common dream.

The dream is becoming a reality and as days go by and years pass quickly, we can see God bringing the dream to pass.  Over the years we’ve cried together, we’ve laughed together and God in His mercy has grown us together.  Sometimes now we don’t even need words as we can read each others’ hearts.  Sometimes words are said that we wish we could withdraw but as time passes, those mistakes become more and more infrequent.  You see, our friendship has grown into commitment. We no longer strive to be friends.  We ARE friends.  There is no jealousy there, no malice, no back biting or striving for position.  We all know our place in the ‘pattern of Kairos’ and we’re working quietly away to bring the dream to pass. 

Is commitment easy? Not if it’s a life commitment.  Our team has been together almost every Sunday morning and night in almost six years!  Unless absent because we are not in the country, the team is there fully present, willing and able to take on any assignment given to further the Kingdom of God.  Church is planned in our meetings, preachers and messages are planned in our meetings, every detail of the Kairos plan is discussed together and agreed upon or it just doesn’t go ahead.  Think that’s easy with strong characters and weak characters together?  Only the grace of God can do this incredible work in all our hearts, and make us submissive to each other.  It’s been an exciting journey.  One we wouldn’t have missed for the world!

There will be days ahead when we won’t be so close.  When there are Kairos gatherings in all four corners of the city of Timisoara, we may not have time to be together so often.  So, we cherish the moments.  We pray together and believe the best is yet to be.  When friendship grows into commitment to God, commitment to a cause, commitment to each other, it will last the tests of time.  It will withstand the adversities that life will throw at it and it will grow until it encompasses everyone around who becomes committed to the dream.  One thing I’ve learned: if you don’t have a dream of your own, then find someone who has a large dream, is fully committed to it, and join them.  Walking with people as they fulfil a dream is exciting and invigorating, challenging and satisfying.  There’s nothing quite like it!

Don’t settle for the normal.  Don’t be satisfied with the status quo. Find a dream that scares you half to death and follow it!  In any realm, in any sphere, go for it!  Write it down and work towards it – find friends who share your dream – or who trust you enough to follow you as you dream – then I pray that your ‘friendships will grow into commitment’…into something greater than anything we can dream!  

 Wendy Tomin

Co-Pastor, Kairos Church Timisoara

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The importance of Community

If ever we begin to think we can make life on our own, we are sadly mistaken.  Should we ever have the notion that we don’t need anyone in our lives, we are on a slippery slope to isolation and loneliness.

I’ve never functioned very well on my own.   All of us are different, but however self-sufficient we feel we are, I believe there are times in our lives, many times, that we need people around us. Loneliness is a terrible affliction.

The most important thing we can cultivate is a circle of people around us to whom we can relate.  There are so many levels of friendships these days and the old term ‘forever friends’ seems to be something of a dying breed.  If we have people around us from childhood then we are blessed. But with the global movement of this present day, people are moving further and further away from their birth places, uprooting children and leaving family and friends behind.

One of the most wonderful things that I’ve found since I moved to Romania is the warmth of the people I have met.  I have been invited for coffee and to their homes for food and often I realise they don’t have very much to offer, but what they have – they’re willing to share with me!

In Kairos we try to apply an ‘open door’ policy – so that everyone knows that they are welcome at any time.  The most important feeling in the world is to feel loved.  The very worst feeling in the world is to feel rejected.  Our heart’s desire in Kairos is to create an atmosphere where everyone feels welcome – whatever their race – religion – or life choices.  We believe it is in the heart of Jesus to be accepting.  We realise it isn’t always easy to accept people who do not act or think the way we do. But Jesus did it all the time.  He went to the homes of those who seemingly worked against Him.  He ate with sinners and saints. He didn’t even preach to them. He drank water from the hand of a prostitute.   He visited and made His presence felt.

I could not survive if I were not part of a strong community. I need a group of people who continue to have my best interests at heart.  A group of people who do not wait until tears stream down my face, but who know how to read my heart.  A telephone call at the right moment, a card or message just to say they love me.  A flower wrapped in a paper – all equally important to a solitary heart.

I want to be predictable.  I want people to know exactly what I’ll do in any given circumstance.  I need them to know that if I say I’ll be there, I’ll keep my word, and I’ll be there for them.  I need to be a person of character so others can learn from me and become people who are dependable and trustworthy.  I can only do this by being a good example and building a community around me of people who feel the same.  Everyone longs to be part of a group where there is no need of ‘airs and graces’ where everyone can be themselves.  This does not happen overnight but comes through trust that is built up over time.  When we feel we can let down our barriers of fear and anxiety and allow ourselves to become vulnerable, then we find that we are surrounded by people who love us and expect nothing in return.

Community is what Jesus built with His disciples.  He worked with the same men day and night. He knew when they were sad and He knew when they needed encouragement or rebuke. He hasn’t changed and today He’s still looking for people who are willing to take a risk, those who are willing to come under authority and be there for others.

It starts with the first step.  Someone trusting someone.  Someone allowing themselves to be vulnerable.  Someone opening their heart to make room for someone else, enlarging the circle of love - until its arms encompass all who come near.  The only place this happens is home, yet if you’re far away from your biological home what can be done?  You start at the bottom and work up!

Our Kairos Community is not perfect - it is flawed because we are there.  But one thing is for sure, it is a welcoming place for those who are hurting.  It is a safe place for those in crisis and it’s a healing place for those who have been scarred.  There’s room in our community for you – unless you’re one of the tiny percentage who doesn’t need anyone.  We will still be here for you though – when the time eventually comes or the circumstances come crashing down and you need that someone who will be there without judging.  We extend our hand of friendship to you – we wait for you with open arms.

Wendy Tomin

Co-Pastor, Kairos Christian Centre

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The Call of God...and my bucket and mop

Photo: Alan Levine (Flickr: cogdog)

I’ve often heard folk pray for God to ‘call them’.  It really should be the desire of everyone who has found Christ as their Saviour to do more for Him than we do in our everyday lives.  In whatever situation we are in, or whatever age we are, we should be aware that we could be doing a bit extra than normal. 

Life kicks in and it’s hard.  Jobs are stressful and life is busy.  Our families and our churches take up lots of our time and eventually our missionary call (whether it be at home or abroad) loses its lustre and we forget we ever heard it. 

I’m not sure exactly when I felt God had called me, but I do have a vivid memory of when I was around nine years of age.  My father was the pastor of a local church and we had always been encouraged to participate and do all we could do for the family of God.  Our home was always open to strangers and friends alike, and I remember how many hundreds of times my mother made food for complete strangers who turned up at our door.  We gave up our beds on many occasions so that people who were homeless could have the best room in the house.  This was our upbringing and I’m grateful for it to this day!

One of my early recollections is going to clean the church, which was quite sizeable for me at such an early age.  And to make matters worse, we didn’t have a car and I remember distinctly walking across our town to the church with a bucket and mop in my hand.  I would take as many back streets as I could so nobody would see, but the main street was inevitable as it was directly linked to where the church building stood!

Embarrassed wasn’t the word.  I used to cringe when people would pass me by and stare unbelievingly at this young girl walking with a mop and bucket.  Little did they realise that it wasn’t just any mop and bucket – but it was obedience to  parents who were also serving God with all their means, and it was my service to God and to man.  I can’t remember how many times I walked it but I know I did it quite a lot.  Once there, the task seemed mammoth, but I had decided that I would follow Jesus and do whatever I found needing to be done – and my mother had taught me that no job was too low, if someone else had to do it – we had to lead by example.

Such were my memories.  Peeling a whole bag of potatoes into a huge bin for weekend visitors.  Washing 30 pairs of sheets just so people could stay two nights.  Hoovering the house which had five flights of stairs several times a week so people could be blessed and hear the gospel by staying in our home. 

If you’re looking for my pedigree, you’ll find it easily.  I offered myself to God and He used me.  If I found something to do – I did it.  Whether it was raising funds to send trucks overseas to Romania with humanitarian aid – or washing the toilets in our large complex at New Hope – if it needed doing, and nobody did it – then it was my challenge and I did it.

I’ve no doubt that all of that – was for all of this!  I believe God sees our hearts and our willingness to serve.  I have never regretted anything I’ve done to help others see God in action – whether it was in a practical sense, or leading praise and worship in church.  My heart has always been – and I pray always will be – willing to do whatever He calls me to do.

Don’t wait for a ‘lofty’ calling.  Do what you need to do now to touch people’s lives.  We are the hands and feet of God in this world, and it may be that we are the only Jesus that people will see.  Our lives can affect everyone we meet – whether it’s a hairdresser, an office colleague or a taxi driver. 

Do whatever you find to do in your hand.  Talented or otherwise, God can use your smallest offering, and turn it into a work of art for His glory.  I’m glad for that – as my talents are few – but my desire to be used of God – is great!  

Wendy Tomin

Co-Pastor,

Kairos Christian Centre

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Iron that dress!

By Palmer, Alfred T., photographer. [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

We all dream about making a change in someone’s life.  We think that perhaps if we did this or if we did that, we could alter their whole outlook on life.  In our parenting years, we believe that if we set enough rules we can save our children the heartbreak that we ourselves went through, or protect them from the world or from some of our personal fears. 

But actually, being on this side of parenting, I realise that actually there’s very little I can do to save my children or indeed anyone else’s children from doing exactly what they want to do.  I can guide, teach and beg, but the end decision is that of the said person. 

The only true answer to our problems is to love.  Judging doesn’t work.  It only alienates and separates.  The single sure way to win someone’s heart is to love them and to live by example so they want to follow.  No quick fix, it takes time and patience and above all…LOVE!!

When my mother, also called Wendy, was a young girl, she was brought up by a single uncle, her father's brother (her father had divorced her mother and remarried).  This uncle later married a Godly lady, but they themselves never had biological children, instead struggling to bring up two beautiful little girls, my Mum and her sister Christian, two years her junior. 

It wasn’t easy to make decisions for someone else’s children, but this was their lot and they did it bravely.  Yolande, as her Aunt was called, never preached to Wendy.  She tried to live her life by example.  It couldn’t have been easy as the girls grew and developed their own personalities.  My mother was a fiery redhead who had learned to fight for her little sister against all the odds. Although brought up with a distant knowledge of God, she had no relationship with Him as such. 

But, she loved to dance.  It was just after the war and there hadn't been much happiness around, but the release that dancing brought made life a bit brighter.  Of course, Yolande, as a devout and strict Christian in those days, did not believe in dancing.  But wisely she never criticised my Mum when she left for the dances in the small local halls. The lads all dressed up and the girls made great effort to be as beautiful as they could be with the limited resources they had.  My mum told me often about how the girls dyed their legs with the colour in tea and drew a straight line up the back of their legs to give the appearance of wearing tights.  In those days, a much stricter dress code was observed and everyone tried their best to keep up the tradition. 

On many nights, when my Mum came home from work, my Aunt Yolande would be getting my Mum’s clothes ready for her to leave as quickly as possible.  She would iron her dress to make sure she was the ‘belle of the ball’ and polish her shoes.  My mother, being young, often took it for granted, but one night as she hurriedly painted her legs for the dance, she looked at the older lady and inquired, “Why are you ironing my dress to help me go to a dance, when you yourself do not believe in going to them?”  Yolande quickly responded, “I want you to look your best and to enjoy every moment you have there, as it’s the only heaven you’re going to have.”  Those words pierced my mother’s young heart and all night as she danced around the hall, she kept hearing the words, “this is the only heaven you will have”. It wasn’t said out of spite, or to make her feel bad: it was said out of a heart of love.  Her aunt kept preparing her clothes and ironing her dresses, but her words penetrated my mother’s heart.

What if this was the only heaven she would enjoy?  What if there was nothing else after death?  Suddenly she began to search and ask questions of this lady who was showing such kindness.  Yolande never spoke much regarding her beliefs, but when asked could give a sure and steadfast account of what God had done for her and how He was willing to do it for all who came to Him in sincerity. 

It led of course to my Mother finding God and living her life for Him, bringing us all up to know Him as our own personal Saviour.  How could ironing a dress have had this possible consequence?  How could someone show that God was real just by the way they lived their life?  It was only through the manifestation of love.  If preaching were to save the world, everyone would be saved by now.  But love is the key. 

Many of us struggle with the fear that maybe some of our loved ones will miss the call of God.  They seem to have turned their backs on Him and are living according to their own plan for their lives. But, take courage, where there’s life – there’s hope!

If you feel despair, if you think your love for someone isn’t having an effect, then just keep on going.  It may take longer than we hoped, maybe longer than we can understand, but my simple hope is that if we keep on loving, God will do the work and ‘restore’ the years that the locust has eaten.

Keep ‘ironing the dress’, keep ‘polishing the shoes’. Do all things possible to live the gospel.  Leave the rest up to an ‘all knowing and powerful God’. 

Wendy Tomin

Co-Pastor, Kairos Christian Centre

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In this world... but not of this world

So often, we think that when we become Christians, we need to totally denounce all our friendships, our relationships and separate ourselves from all that we've known so far.  We are indoctrinated into believing that the least possible contact with ‘the world’ is what’s needed for us to be holy and to purify ourselves unto God.  The only thing is that by doing this, we minimise the power of God in our lives.  His power is strong enough to sustain us through every difficulty and trial that we will go through.  What we don’t realise is that God’s desire is for us to live our lives with our fellow men and learn to overcome the circumstances that come our way. 

It’s so amusing and sad to see Christians almost isolating themselves from people, won’t eat at the same table, won’t mingle with anyone who is not in their church and to be honest this is the very opposite to the teachings of Jesus.  I have known groups of Christians who set a different table for members of their very own family if they had not ‘converted’ into their church.  The ‘Christians’ insisted that this was God’s will – not to ‘fellowship’ with the world.

But how then can we be light in the middle of the darkness in the world?  How can we influence the lives of the people around us, show them the way to Christ and love them into the Kingdom… if we isolate ourselves from them?

I wonder… how far have we come from understanding the heart of God?

Wendy Tomin

Co-Pastor, Kairos Church

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Frica întâlnește Credința

Ca și ființă umană, ai experimentat deja frica și vei mai avea momente în care o vei experimenta.  Frica este ceva cu care ne luptăm încă de mici.  Poate să îți fie frică de întuneric, frică să fii singur, frică de clovni, frică de insecte, sau frică că ceva rău o să se întâmple unei persoane pe care o iubești. 

Când eram copil, îmi era frică de întuneric.  Ca și copil, îmi aduc aminte că mama tot timpul avea o veioză aprinsă în timpul nopții că dacă cumva ne trezim să mergem la toaletă să putem vedea și totodată să nu ne fie frică.  Ideea era că dacă ne trezeam și era beznă și ne era frică să mergem la toaletă o trezeam pe ea să vină cu noi.  Era benefic pentru ea ca să putem merge la toaletă singuri.  Un alt motiv pentru care aveam o veioză aprinsă în timpul nopții era că la vremea aceea dormeam cinci într-o cameră și era important să putem vedea să nu călcăm unul peste altul.  Sunt amuzat și nu mă pot opri din zâmbit în timp ce-mi amintesc de aceste momente.

Ție de ce îți este frică?

Am auzit pe cineva spunând că îi este frică de oameni, pe altcineva că îi este frică să ia o decizie, pe altcineva că este paralizat de frică când este vorba să se gândească la viitor, pe altcineva că îi este frică că va ramâne singur și nu va gasi pe nimeni care să-l iubească, și pe altcineva că îi este frică că nu este acolo unde ar trebui să fie, că este prins ca într-o închisoare din care nu mai poate ieși...  Oh, suntem cuprinși de așa de multe frici!

Dumnezeu știa că noi ne vom lupta cu acest lucru numit frică și s-a asigurat ca acest cuvânt să fie menționat în Biblie de peste 300 de ori.  De nenumărate ori Dumnezeu spune: „Nu te teme.”

Nu te teme?  Cum poate fi posibil acest lucru când trăim în fiecare zi în nesiguranță și tot ce auzim, de la știri până la conferințele de presă ale guvernului, parcă sunt făcute să cauzeze frică, teamă și o oarecare instabilitate.

Lumea noastră este plină de frică.  De ce să nu ne fie frică?  Pentru că Dumnezeu spune să nu ne fie frică...

Isaia 41:10 (NTLR)

„Deci nu te teme, căci Eu sunt cu tine!

    Nu te înspăimânta, căci Eu sunt Dumnezeul tău!

Eu te voi întări, te voi ajuta

    şi te voi sprijini cu dreapta Mea izbăvitoare!”

Dumnezeu este cu noi indiferent de frica cauzată de provocările vieții, de sistemul în care trăim și de știrile pe care le auzim.  El ne promite că până la urmă totul va fi OK!  De ce?  Pentru că El este în control, El este suveran și nimic din ceea ce se întâmplă nu se întâmplă fără voia Lui.  Pentru că viitorul meu este în mâna Lui, pentru că viața mea este în mâna Lui.  Pentru că El este Dumnezeul meu și eu sunt copilul Lui.  Și atunci când El spune să nu mă tem, ar trebui să fac bine să nu mă tem chiar dacă mă tem, pentru că asta arată credință; și atunci când îl cred pe Dumnezeu pe cuvânt, Îl onorez.

Am auzit spunându-se că frica nu este altceva decât neîncredere sau lipsa credinței.  Dacă Dumnezeu mă încurajează și îmi spune prin Cuvântul Său să nu mă tem și să nu mă înspăimânt, înseamnă că El știe mai bine ca mine ce urmează.  El vede ceea ce eu nu văd... de aceea ar fi bine să mă încred în El.  El vede mai departe decât mine!

Frica înfrânge mai mulţi oameni decât orice altceva din această lume. - citat din Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dumnezeu ne ajută.  Noi nu putem singuri.  El ne dă Cuvântul Lui ca să locuiască în inimile noastre atunci când suntem speriați, Duhul Lui să ne mângăie, să ne învețe și să ne conducă, prieteni care umblă cu Isus să ne ajute cu rugăciune și prietenie.  Noi, liderii voștrii suntem aici ca să vă susținem, să vă ajutăm să mergeți înainte chiar dacă vă este frică – nu negând frica, ci acceptând-o și acționând în ciuda ei. 

Noi, liderii voștrii, suntem aici să vă conducem prin exemplu.

Sava Tomin

Pastor, Centrul Creștin Kairos

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How far will we go?

These words have been coming to me all morning. The question raises its head over and over again: How far am I willing to love people into the Kingdom?  Am I willing to lay aside the long-standing mistaken beliefs that I was brought up with?  Am I able to overcome my own prejudices of who can or who cannot come to our church?  Can I lay aside my judgemental thoughts about who is acceptable to God? 

First impressions so easily cloud our minds.  The style of clothing, the hair, the make-up, the piercings, the tattoos… but in God’s eyes He doesn’t even see these things. He sees the heart that is lost - maybe even not seeking after Him, but a soul nevertheless.  If we are to be God’s eyes and ears, surely our borders will have to broaden somewhat.

We judge by what we see, but how much worse are the things we don’t see!  Yet they go unnoticed by the human eye.   One of our main values in Kairos is to be “fara masca” – without a mask – and to be as blatantly honest as possible.  Things that run “under cover” cause so much pain in the long term.  They cannot be dealt with and so they fester under the surface, causing so much more damage.  I believe the devil tries to use our “secret” sins as blackmail, which is such a devastating experience for everyone concerned.

As Christians we are called to be like Jesus.  Jesus never lied. He did not walk in deceit, nor pride. We are all sinners in various degrees. Hidden sins are binding on so many levels.  As long as nobody knows, we are held in bondage by the very “sin” we are called to leave behind.  The devil then has free access to use it against us as blackmail, which totally holds us in captivity. I’m glad it says in the Bible in Matthew 5:25 “Agree with your adversary quickly.”  Secret sin leaves us feeling dirty and empty, and causes a vicious circle which in turn ensnares us even further!

It seems such a simple thing, but actually Christians are held in so much bondage with secret sin. When it comes down to brass tacks, we’ve all done the same thing, though maybe in a different way.  Perhaps we thought about doing it, or we did it, but both of these are sinful, so we need to be released. The good news is that full forgiveness and release is available through the blood of Jesus – and it’s offered freely to all!

Who are we willing to accept in Kairos?  Anyone who comes through the door, be it sinner or saint - of any persuasion, of any religion, of any colour, of any minority, of any inclination. Then what do we plan to do?  As Jesus would do, we plan to love them.  Will it be easy? Was it always easy for Jesus?  He dealt with some odd characters, but love them He did, and we will too.  By His grace and strength, everyone will be welcome.

Wendy Tomin

Co-Pastor, Kairos Christian Centre

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