None of us enjoy being exposed. We all have things or experiences in our lives that we are ashamed of. Things we've done. Places we've been. People we've hurt. But when we come to God, we come as we are. We often forget that He knew us before we were born and that there’s simply nothing He doesn't already know about us. Yet, we continue to hide behind our past and guard it like it we are the only person in the world who has ever been in this mess.
If we could only realise that our healing would be so much faster if we could open our hearts and mouths to let things go! Not just ‘willy nilly’ but to those who are there to help us. We have all heard the saying from Ecclesiastes "...there’s nothing new under the sun..." and when we lay out our paltry lives with all the anxieties and worries that we carry, we realise that we are joining an army of people who have done almost exactly the same. With a few tweaks, we’d be carbon copies!
One of the hardest battles we struggle with is being honest. I know it’s hard to even admit that, but it’s true. We want everyone to love us, and we think that maybe if they knew ‘the real me’ they would have reservations - but that isn't true of real friends. It isn't true of God. He hates the sin, but He loves the "me". It’s a great relief to be free from having to hide, and from covering up. Deceit causes all kinds of sicknesses, and yet we all live with it.
I’m grateful that it is possible to be free from this bondage. I’m grateful that is possible to find healing from fear. It isn’t easy to ‘come clean’, but the feeling of freedom is exhilarating. In my relationship with Sava (because we were mature and came into this marriage both carrying baggage from the past - good and bad), we realised if we were to survive and have a successful life together we would have to be sure all our secrets were on the table. It ensures the demons from our past have less power over our lives, and it frees us from blackmail (in however mild a form). It allows us to walk confidently forwards without the manipulation that sometimes we have brought on ourselves.
When God called us to open Kairos, we brought this principle with us. One of our core values in Kairos is "fara masca" – ‘without a mask’. These days so many people try to hide their failures – especially in church. If they smoke, they try to hide it from the pastor. If they drink, they try to never be seen with a glass in their hand. If they take drugs, they do their best to appear "normal" especially around anyone from the church. We seem to have missed the point. We’re only hiding from people, but we’re not hiding from God.
"Fara masca"- without a mask – does that mean we are liberal or agree with everything that goes on? Not at all. But we have learned through personal hard experience, to draw a big circle of love. So often churches try to ‘clean the fish’ before it’s caught! We don’t encourage anyone to continue with bad habits, but we do want to draw them into our circle of love. We believe God extends His hand to help those who are in trouble. We believe there is nothing too hard for Him to fix. We believe we need to draw bigger circles of love and to be inclusive. People who are struggling already know what they need to do - we just need to love them into doing it!
Living without a mask isn't easy. It makes us vulnerable. It leaves us exposed to criticism. But if we want to be free and whole, it’s what we need to do. There’s nothing worse than living a lie. And none of us can criticise, as we all do it. Pride hinders us from being ourselves and allowing God to change us. Sometimes we enjoy what we’re doing, but forgiveness is what we all need, repentance and then change. I am in no position to think badly about you. I am equally guilty, if not more guilty than most. God is big enough to extend healing to each and every one of us. If only we will remove our mask.
Wendy Tomin
Co-pastor, Kairos Church
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